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Is your child arguing back frequently or showing signs of annoying behavior like screaming “no” to all your requests and getting verbally abusive on a daily basis?
These are signs of severe behavioral problems and discipline challenges that children affected by ADHD throw up. While it is normal for most children to answer back or ignore parents’ requests sometimes, when such conduct becomes chronic it is a manifestation of ADHD, often coupled with ODD (oppositional defiant disorder). As many as 40 per cent of the children afflicted by ADHD generally also suffer from ODD, which is characterized by chronic abusive or obnoxious behavior, a tendency to argue or annoy frequently etc.
The bad news is that this behavior can spill into adulthood, leading to severe personal and professional problems that can even have social ramifications when they result in reckless driving, alcoholism, gambling and such ills.
The good news is that with the help of behavior therapy even the most obnoxious and annoying child can be managed. Here are some simple steps and homeopathic medicines for adhd to manage aggressive and abusive behavior in ADHD children.
Positive action works better than negative strategy
Parents need to make use of reward rather than punishment to correct ADHD behavior. Children respond better to positive incentives than to negative ones. For instance, if a child has the annoying habit of turning on the television full blast despite requests to lower the volume, tell him that he will earn 10 minutes extra of viewing his favorite program if keeps the sound low.
Reinforce good behavior with reward.
If a child sits still through class or his parent-teacher meeting, praise him publicly or reward his good conduct.
Don’t be drawn into arguments
Psychologists say that aggressive ADHD kids not only like arguing or answering back but also enjoy drawing parents, teachers or peers into the arguing mode. They like it when they are in the center of the argument. The moment the parents or teachers get into an argument with them, they land on their turf. The abusive child keeps tossing out the verbal bait and the parent keeps falling into the trap.So, stop rising to the bait and arguing with the chronically annoying child who loves to argue about anything and everything.
Try time out strategy
The use of “time-out,” which entails isolating the child immediately for a short period of time, is considered a very effective strategy for dealing with aggressive behavior as it gives both the parent and the child time to cool down.Psychologists usually advise parents to apply 1 minute of timeout for each year of age, which mean 4 minutes for a four year old. The general norm suggested by psychologists is applying the 30% rule to kids with ADHD and learning disabilities.Thus, an abusive or aggressive child should immediately be removed from a situation in which he is annoying or endangering others. Try to make the child look upon time out as a way of cooling off rather than as a form of isolation from others.
Channelize physical aggression into verbal outlet
While mildly aggressive acts should be allowed in a child so as to enable him to let off some steam, when the behavior becomes abusive, physically aggressive or intentional, the best way is to channelize the physical aggression into a verbal outlet. This could mean sometimes allowing the ADHD child to use words that may not be acceptable in normal kids.
Anticipating aggression
Many a time a parent can anticipate situations when a child with ADHD is likely to get aggressive or abusive. Quite frequently, an ADHD simply child explodes in public without any provocation. If such a flare-up happens in public, it is advisable for the parent to remove themselves from the situation by making an exit.
Redirect energy into motor skill
If a child’s verbal aggression develops into intentionally abusive and socially embarrassing conduct, the parents need to channelize his aggression into positive physical activity and motor skills like competitive one-on-one sports, energy-consuming music or dancing, competitive video gaming and such activity .With patience and understanding, parents and other care givers can correct ADHD-related aggressiveness in children through such behavioral therapy.
Top Homeopathic medicines for Abusiveness in kIds With ADHD
Chamomilla :- Homoeopathic medicine chamomilla is one of the best indicated remedies in cases of extreme abusiveness in children. The child may be extremely restless and may cry continuously. Chamomilla may be prescribed when the child keeps demanding one thing after the other and refuses when given. There may be temper tantrum on every little thing. The child cannot tolerate if anyone tries to speak to him. The child may be extremely abusive and complaining. The child cannot take no for an answer and may keep moaning continuously because he is being refused things that he demands. Chamomilla may be given in children who get extremely abusive and violent when anyone interrupts him.
Cina :- Homoeopathic medicine cina is one very well indicated remedy in children who are abusiveness. The child may be very cross and irritable and hates when touched. Cina may be prescribed in children who don’t want to be carried, talked to or touched. They may turn away from strangers. The child bores his face in his mother’s lap and cries incessantly. Here again, the child desires many things but rejects everything when offered. Cina may be prescribed in children who suffer from worm infestations.
Antimony Crud :- Homoeopathic medicine antim crud is also a very well indicated medicine in children who are unusually abusive. The child is excessively irritable and crossed. Any attempt to please the child fails. Nothing seems to satisfy the child. There is much brooding and the child doesn’t want to speak. The child gets angry when someone looks at him. Antim crud may be prescribed in children who are extremely short tempered without any relevant cause.
Veartrum Album :- Homoeopathic medicine veratrum alb is an indicated remedy in children who throw temper tantrums. There may be extreme mood swings and crankiness may alternate with a submissive behavior. The child may scream and curse when angry. Veratrum alb may be prescribed in children who get physically violent when angry. There may be an unusual tendency to tear or cut things during bouts of anger. The child may sit in an awkward position and become totally incommunicable.
Hyoscyamus :- Homoeopathic medicine hyoscyamus is a very well indicated remedy in abusiveness in children. The child may be very quarrelsome and abusive. He may hurl verbal abuses at everyone around him. There may be constant grumbling and muttering due to irritation. The child may be extremely impatient and talkative. Hyocyamus may be prescribed when the child make fun of other children and is extremely insulting. There may be an unusual tendency to find fault. There is much dejection and despair. The child may be insensitive to others feelings.
Natrum Mur:- Homoeopathic medicine natrum mur may be prescribed in cases of abusive children who are extremely weepy and cross. They refuse to be consoled and weep more on consolation. The child is generally well behaved and may be suppressd for a long time. Due to prolonged suppression, there may piling up of the emotions. Suddenly, the child just explodes with angry bouts. The child prefers to be left alone to cry. There is much awkwardness and hasty behavior. Natrum mur may be prescribed when the child gets irritated with trifle things.
My daughter , 20+, is very aggressive in nature , always contradict us in every respect. Misbehave with everybody in the house and with the relatives. Very prone to spicy food and does not want to take the normal homemade food.
Kindly suggest medicines and its doses.
Hi my son is 14, non verbal and has autism. He started hitting his head and his left eye would come in slightly at about 5 years old. He was developing typically ( he was induced two weeks before my due datesueto deliveryissues with my 11st child) at 15 months he got the MMR shot and lost the few words he had as well as he started to flip his toy card over and spin the wheels. At age 5 we took him to a GI who said he had inflamation in the fut, ulcers in his intestine and erosion on the dueodum. We did antiinflamatories, gluten casein free, and digestive enzymes. No big difference.
He is social but very clingy to me. This past year the intensity, frequency, and duration of his getting his head increased. He was recorded to have punxhed his head 200 times in a 15 minute episode. He would also stuck his fingers in his ears, cry and have us hold his head. He appeared to be in pain. These attacks come from nowhere. He would also run around screaming . we had an MRI done and they found. A cavernous angioma on the right temporal. The neurologist thought the episodes were migraine pain. They put him on Topamax. This had no effect he was also put on ampetripaline. These medications made him aggressive irritable and have him insomnia. I took him off everything. 2 weeks ago. He now constantly hit show head even when he doesn’t appear to b in pain. He will pull out his hair and try and pull out hair and scratch us.sadly when He is not having these attacks he is very happy. He understands everything but can’t form words. Hehasteouble sitti,g still and a very short attention span. I am swing a homeopathy doctor who prescribed belladonna I gave him 30c 3 pellets two times a week. It seemed like Thaksin was less but his scratching. And jumping out of bed and trying to scratch us and tear hishairout was not better. He just started taking sterauma 3 pellets of 30c. He is still hitting his head so much so he has blisters and bless from breaking the skin. I wanted to see your ideas.
Initially he was only self injourpus. After the prescription drugs he became aggressive towards us. School starts next week but I am keeping him home to see if his behavior is better. He loves to go out but unfortunately these guys are restricting him
Who could prescribe above medications for my son?
Dear Dr. Sharma,
I am 37 year old well educated and settle person financially working in national firm.I am separated from my family from child hood and spent my all life in Relatives home for studding. After completion of studies my Mother Father both expired one by one and I suffered and maintain my family now they are settled.
I got married and my MRS.Separated after 7 months after then we have a baby girl I go to meet her in Court my MRS never agree to back.I am feeling aggression and lose tempering,Concentration problem too from last one year and my sleep is perfect and weight is maintained on 63 Kg.I control my behavior at many places and after then time I think that was not a problem of aggression.
On request of my Dr. Friend I used Agnatia Amara 200 x but result was not found.Kindly suggest me any thing else for treatment and controll.
Regards,
Muhammad Amjad Alvi
My son 6 year old have some of the symptoms you described in this article. He can’t sit in one place for even 2 minutes even in school also. He is wandering in the class when teacher is telling class and talking to his friends. He is not listening in class at all. He is not concentrating in studies. When we offer rewards, he try to finish his work very fastly. He has teasing nature with his elder sister, his mother etc. He is simply telling lies for small things. He is neglecting his cleanliness. He take care of his interested things but neglects things like pencils, erasers, sharpners, etc. He is stealing chocolates, small toys from his friends and telling that they have given him. He is not that much violent. He has fear of ghosts. He is timid of darkness. We are sending him to Teakwando. He has interest in it but even there he is not listening to the master. His behaviour is same when he is with relatives but some what less when compare when he is with us (parents). Please suggest remedy in homeo.
He kicks of for no reason is extremely angry very violent and abusive he shouts and swears and has now started spitting he is always restless when in a situation he is unsure of and will constantly want to go to the toilet even when he does not need to go he is 8 years old and I am his Gran and I feel scared of him
Dear Doctor SAHAB
My daughter is three years old and she is extremely Cranky and at now a days she cries a lot that too to a extent she becomes inconsolable and also she is having mood swings…she also has a problem of constipation and undergoes motion once in three or four days..and her sleeping hours are also not proper ..she might sleep at two in the night and would wake up at ten and would start crying..we are really very much worried and disturbed of her health and activities as she gets irritated on small things and also hits anyone..
Kindly suggest
Regards
My son Yash is 18 yrs. old is taking medicines for Epilepsy and ADHD, Dyslexia, tapering off Allopathic Medicines Oxetol 450 – once a day and Risdone SR 0.5 mg – once a day. He is quite
moody and has fared very badly in second year engineering in I.T. faculty in Govt. Polytechnic. His I.Q. is very high but he is very allergic as far as studies is concerned, should I give him Silicia 30 or any other combinations available in the market of Reckeweg or Adel. Your help will be highly apprecieted.
Hello Dr. Sharma. I’m an Indian and living in NCR Delhi region. I have a 37year old daughter who, on the one hand, is extremely lovable, innocent and pure at heart but he has most of the symptoms described for the ADHD and ODD children. I also feel that as parent we have also contributed to this situation.
The line of action is described mostly for children. Do we need something else to try for our daughter. She is very argumentative, abusive and full of hatred for us but in the private. In public she poses a normal person. She is depressed also for being a non achiever in life and blames us for that. Can you advise something. We want to maintain confidentiality. Thanks
Hello doctor m child s 4 years old boy he s very naughty screaming all the times and his mouth never stops continue speaking anything .He s very aggressive when i scold hm.vn i slap hm he vomits.plz prescribe d mediine
Dear Dr Sharma,
I have got a 22Y old daughter with psycological disorder. She is doing masters in English litrature and working in a buisness research companny. She was a child with fears and weaknesses , a very weak child . But for last a few years she has transformed to somebody who is compltely different, she had a few unsuccessful suicide attempts. But after 3-4years of depression now she has an enormous amount of energy , that is difficult to cope with. A state of fearlessness and deviation from religion. No rational behaviour , she cuts herself now an then and feels no pain . She is having tattoos very often and the pain of tatoo gives her a kind of joy. Heavy work out in gym and afterwards piles of protein rich diet , this kind of routine is her life style. No compromises at all. she is small and light figure girl. She is 22 but looks 18 . Very suicidal. Please give some advice.
Hello,my daughter is 8 yrs old and her behavior is very abusive and unbearable.
She weeps all the time,beats her youger brothers.she is very sesitive and doesn’t feel
happy.what I should do ,im really worried bout her plz guide me.
Thanks
Hi Dr.Sharma
I would like to talk to you about my daughter she is 2.5 years old. She is a healthy child . She was a calm child during her infant days she started showing stubbornness when she reached the age of 1.5 yrs cries continuously she will hit her head on the floor while crying asking different things while crying we can’t reason with her she harms herself and others as well. Me my husband and my daughter are currently residing in UAE comes to India for vacation . She first showed the signs of stubbornness after returning to UAE from a vacation. It took almost one week for her to be back to normal. Now we are in India for a vacation she showing the stubbornness for almost three weeks now. What shall I do doctor please reply
The child has learnt to throw extreme temper tantrums….. probably the child has lot of people pampers her in India. I am Anupama Maruvada, M.Sc, M.S (Founder & Clinical Director of CBT 2 – Child behavior therapy with cognitive behavior therapy).
You need to use preventive, intervention & post tantrum strategies to bring them to control.
Hi dr I have a 6 year old deaf boy that’s hitting and bitting me all the time there is not one min in the day that he is calm. He always look for an excuse to hurt me. And the phycologists and phicitrest say there is nothing wrong with him but to me it looks like a very dangerouis and seruois case. And its becaming a probleme. Please give me advise on how to o things. He doesn’t even take praises when I see his doing good then he starts out bursts.
I need your help badly and want to talk discussing it all on phone
I have a son who is 3 you, 4 months. He screams a lot on hearing sounds of vehicles, cooker, mixer, even closing of zip in bags. He always wants me to be with him when at home. He is. Entails prepared to stay without me in playschool. But at home, he always wants me, just don’t allow me to do any work. Also, he is very hyperactive. He gets bored with any thing very fast. Very difficult to make him sit at one place. Very naughty and purposely does things that irritate us. Screams a lot unnecessarily… Being patient, explaining him, scolding, nothing works out….. He screams even more…. But when I try to beat him or raise my voice, he cries a day vomits everything… Becomes very uncontrollable…. And I myself has to calm down and pacify him…. Really finding very difficult to manage him…. Plus help
My daughter age 3 year 7 month.wo bahut hi aggresive aur jiddi hai.wo kisi ki sunti hi nai.hamesa bahar rehne k jid.no intrest in food.hamesa rona chillana.aur dusro k samne bhi rona.kio out sider agar usr console kare to uspe bhi attack.i m so upset.plz help..
My son is 8yrs old ADHD with depression. Sometimes he’s lovable and helpful. Just you don’t know when he will switch and start hitting you and using fail language to me as his mom and his little brother. My son does lie a lot can stand me asking him anything and his bother.
Mumy daughter is 3 years and have all above symptoms to be given chamomilla. Please guide abouf dosage
Hello there! I loved reading this information and I’m hopeful that you quite possibly have some answers and or solutions for our almost 4 year old we’re struggling with daily now. My husband and I are main the parents in a blended family with 3 boys (ages 11.5, 9, & almost 4) and I am currently 4 months pregnant with my 4th child. Wesley is our youngest boy and has been absolutely uncontrollable with anger outbursts, physical violence (Wesley will punch, hit, kick, scratch, pinch, bite,throw any object in his reach at myself/his dad/ his brothers, breaks/destroys purposefully items & belongings of others (by way of tearing/cutting up papers, ripping off pieces or parts, stepping on or throwing items, climbing to find tools or items that he uses as tools to smash or destroy items, places electronics in water such as sinks or toilets or purposefully spilling his drink onto them)refuses to use or play with what is his and manages to find things such as my husbands or my car/house keys or important cards (my husbands drivers license & debit cards he leaves in high places even though I’ve warned him to keep them out of sight & possible reach but now they’re lost) then Wesley will hide them where they’re never found or found after a long period of time; there is complete defiance from Wesley constantly (screaming/yelling “no” or “yes I can” or “yes I will”; telling me & his brothers to “shut up”; using foul language((it is even used by him correctly bothcontext or situations)); refusal to follow instructions both for his safety & or a normal request which also goes into him being verbally abusive to others by name calling or put downs; he’s been caught and corrected when seen purposefully hurting our cat & 2 dogs (by hitting them with his hands & or objects as well as kicking them, etc), he cannot stand being told no or asked/told to stop (with or without explanation why), wakes early in the mornings; Requires us to have to allow for an extra 10-20 minutes any time we have to leave the house as he will hide/refuse getting dressed & shoes & coat on (whether asked to do it as a self task or with assistance)/ runs around the yard when I’m trying to get him into the vehicle/ he fights hard when I attempt to get him to nap no matter what time of day it is/ he fights both my husband and I at bedtime (I am the one who does bedtime routine and tuck Ina 98% of the time)/ he makes me Dread the idea of taking him in public whether going to the grocery store, Drs appointments, family dinners at a restaurant or even to my older two boys’ schools for their events; car rides (no matter if they’re just a few blocks from our home or a special occasion out of town an hour away) are absolutely dreadful 85-90% of the time as he screams, cries, curses, kicks the back of seats as hard as he can, finds any object he can to throw at his brothers/his dad/myself, instigates to irritate or annoy his brothers and can be physically abusive to his brothers any way possible; there is much more I could list but I feel this should hopefully be enough for your thoughts/opinions? As a family,we are at a total loss as to what we’re supposed to do now or how to handle him anymore as he’s become worse over the last 9 months to a year. It has put a huge rift in our family and a strain on both my relationships with my older boys and my marriage. Thank you in advance for anything you can suggest or advice on!!